The Journals of Major Peabody by Galen Winter

Author:Galen Winter [Winter, Galen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humor, Hunting, Galen Winter, The Aegis Conspiracy, Fishing, 500 Wild Game and Fish Recipes, Major Peabody
Publisher: CCB Publishing
Published: 2012-07-09T22:24:17+00:00

A Snug Man with a Buck

“As you wander through life”, said Major Nathaniel Peabody, “if you are not careful - or even if you are - you will meet some very peculiar people. One of them is Karl Adams.” Karl is a hunter. He is also a tax accountant. He is the Major’s tax accountant and he is reported to be a very good tax accountant. If there is a defensible income tax write off or deduction lurking in an obscure regulation hidden within some incomprehensible provision of the Tax Code, Karl is sure to uncover it.

The Major and his accountant are, in this regard, in perfect agreement. The Major is congenitally ill-disposed toward any government, in general, and to all forms of taxation in particular. Karl’s originality and inventive imagination in tax calculations is one of the reasons Major Peabody uses his services.

Because many hunters are numbered among his clientele, when Karl prepares his own tax return, he writes off not only the cost of his various hunting trips, but also the costs of buying, training, feeding and providing veterinarian costs for his German Wirehair retriever, John D. Rockefeller (called “Rocky”). Karl is convinced they are all legitimate business development expenses.

Karl Adams hates to be a part of any unnecessary departure of funds from his clients’ bank accounts, especially if they go to the Internal Revenue Service. That hatred turns into an uncontrollable rage when it comes to his own bank account. As far as the accountant’s own funds are concerned, that uncontrollable rage and detestation is not limited to sending money to the governmental. Sending it anywhere is a painful operation.

Though Karl has a thriving practice and is far from being destitute, he is certainly not ostentatious concerning his substantial personal wealth. When the sun is down and the hunters have eaten and tended to the care of their weapons and dogs, the gang is apt to leave camp and visit the nearest town for a bit of R and R.

As soon as the Christian Science Reading Room is closed, Peabody tells me, the men usually wander off to the nearest saloon. There, he informs me, people customarily buy libations for other people, back and forth, and forth and back, and so on.

“During such moments of conviviality,” Major Peabody reports, “I’ve had many opportunities to carefully watch my accountant’s participations in the sociable activity. In spite of his ample financial reserves, when it comes his time to buy, you wouldn’t think he had a penny to his name.”

Stories of his reluctance to separate himself from the coin of the realm are legion. Peabody told me the accountant wears his prescription glasses only when he is reading or looking at figures. It is rumored he limits his use of them because he doesn’t want to wear them out prematurely.

According to the Major, the ten dollar bill Karl lost during last year’s grouse camp poker game bore the signature of the lady who was Treasurer of the United States during the Harry Truman administration.

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